Hope Is Not a Strategy- Book Summary

I am not in sales, I have no experience selling, and this is a weak point in my personal quiver. That is why when my company decided to have a sales book as an option for the required reading I jumped on it. This book, I have to imagine is less about selling than it is about mastering a “complex sale”. One where there will be more lengthy negotiations, multiple competitors, and a much more complex product (IT systems, ERP systems, software packages, etc.). While I do not believe this was the most appropriate book for the specific sales issues we are trying to overcome, it has sound principles that can be used for selling in general.

Hope Is Not A Strategy, by Rick Page <<< Buy the book here.

Part 1

  • “Selling” has changed in the last 20+ years from more basic selling to what we are calling the complex sale. The impact of this change is outlined on pages 6-7. Some of the main ones that stuck out to me are:
    • Analysis paralysis –
    • New requirements late in the buying process
    • Blind spots (missing info)
    • Quote and hope proposals – you just send a quote proposal without selling to a specific person. Proposals don’t sell, people do.
    • No access to power
  • Reasons you can be dead and not know it. You are often the 2nd or 3rd choice, but they will drag you along and do not want you to leave the table just yet
    • Due diligence – they just want to make sure they have additional viable options and can document that they quoted competitively
    • Price leverage – Using your price against their #1 choice
    • Safety net – In case their #1 falls through
    • Lack of knowledge
    • Lack of courage to tell you your losing
  • You need to determine the client’s needs first
    • The most important thing about the complex sale (and sales in general) is that you need to solve a problem. For the complex sale you need to solve business problems, understand what the ‘pain’ is for the customer
  • 4 levels of selling on page 17
    • Industry/marketing – General marketing
    • Account/enterprise – Think SAP, SalesForce, Concur, etc. that are adopted by an enterprise. The sale for these is a bit more complex.
    • Opportunity
    • Individual
  • You need to know your competition to know your strengths and weaknesses. You can probably find a list of strengths on the internet and write them in strength/weakness columns for this analysis
  • 7 generations of buyer-seller relationship pg. 24
  • 10 laws of team selling – pg. 25
  • Questions are the answer
    • Listen first, talk second. keep the client talking about their problems
  • Competitive advantage falls into 3 categories
    • low priced vendor
    • value differentiated
    • focused on niche market
  • Know your value proposition and what it means to your customerLink the competitive advantages to show value to customer- visual on page 43. Maybe only 2 value propositions really matter to the customer – focus on those (sealed + rugged)
  • R.A.D.A.R- is the trademarked term used by the book
    • Reading Accounts and Deploying Appropriate Resources
      • Link solutions to pain (or gain)
        • your client needs to confess them
        • understand the political motives- who is sponsoring
        • focus the needs and use the clients terminology
        • Understand what matters to the people sponsoring it: culture, strategy, political, etc. all have factors- examples on pages 59-67
      • Qualify the prospect
        • is there already money in the budget? if not are we looking for them to add it next year? or get them to spend off budget (need high-up political sponsor)?
        • reasons to qualify out of a customer
          • cannot solve their pain well
          • no access to power
          • decision making process does not favor us
          • We don’t have the resources for adequate pursuit
          • we have better opportunities elsewhere
      • Build Competitive Preference
        • The highest level of preference is trust
        • Benefits mapping- how it will benefit them personally and professionally
        • Making your sponsors look good
        • Ask questions that will lead your client ot be more critical of competitors
        • Anticipate your competitor’s strategy and neutralize it before it takes off
        • Help develop the buying criteria, re-educate them to shape their vision
      • Determine the decision making process
        • understand how the decision will be made: vote? algebraic democracy? whos vote counts the most? if the CEO will override any decision, what is your strategy
        • Understand the people who vote and what means the most to them- votes from IT, MFG, Finance- understand how the votes count and who you need to win over
        • Find the pain, Find the politics
      • Sell to power
        • We build emotional bank accounts with eachother- social capital. And you must make deposits before you can make withdrawals
        • If influence is social currency, then integrity is gold
      • Communicate the strategic plan
        • Winning without strategy is called luck. Direct salespeople are paid to make their own luck.
        • Why strategies fail
          • Poor information
          • They don’t communicate the plan to the team
          • Not having a plan B- or C,D, E
            • There must be consious reanalysis and coaching process for absorbing new info and processing it into new strategies, tactics and actions
          • Do not spread yourself too thin
          • Art of war quote: Those who are victorious plan effectively and change decisively
        • Dynamic, flexible strategy
          • Information drives strategy
          • Team needs effective presentation skills and graphics tools to get the benefits from their heads to the prospects’ heads
          • Set goals and objectives- start with the end in mind
          • Test your strategy
        • Seek out bad news, “Why CEOs fail” describes one of the warning signs of executive denial as a background in sales or marketing.
        • Anticipate failure points and strengthen them- have plan B,C,D in the pocket
        • Art of War Quote:
          •  “if you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles”
    • Part 3
      • Preemptive strategies:
        • Demand creation vs. demand reaction
        • ask for and seek an exclusive or sole source evaluation – p 124
        • align yourself w/ a power partner- consulting firm
        • walk away early
      • Frontal strategies- go straight in and sell- only works when you have superiority, know when to switch to plan B
      • Sell the product or proposal, sell the company story
        • if the client can see your superiority quickly, jump to the demo make sure you understand the needs though
      • Flanking strategies- require speed, innovation, and surprise. always be asking “if they had to decide today, who would win?” if the answer is “not me” then its time for plan B.
        • bring your strength against your enemy’s weakness
          • Change the pain- to things sponsored by more powerful people
          • change the power
          • change the process
          • Linking solutions to products
          • Expanding the scope
        • If you don’t know your winning your probably losing
      • Develop trust- when trust is established, evaluation cycles can fall to zero
      • Position yourself as a solutions company vs. a product company
      • Know what to sell, when and understand that issues may change as you progress through the sale
      • Beware of counterattacks- when your competitor realizes they are losing, they will result in slashing prices, or going over the project lead’s head. Anticipate these tactics and neutralize them
      • Equip our sponsors with business case and solution differentiators or preference will be perceived as cronyism based on politics alone
      • Strategies at an individual  level on pages 146-148
      • You must get past the gatekeeper to talk to the C-Level executives. Reasons you can talk them into this: pg 150-151
        • recognition and glory
        • secure resources
        • mitigate risk
        • project scope- lateral
        • project scope -strategic
        • my boss- your boss
        • bargain for access
        • you asked
        • Get out of your comfort zone and into the power zone
      • Executives care about the following, they do not want to hear about the details of the interface, they want to know: pg 154
        • strategic- competitive advantage, customer satisfaction, M&A,  etc.
        • political-Stockholders, board of directors, environment, unions, etc.
        • financial- ROI, cash flow, productivity, etc.
        • cultural- Competitiveness, teamwork, cooperation, vision, alignment, etc.
        • Do not waste their time asking them their pains, this should be done at the lower levels. you should know their pains by now and give them solutions.

Part 4 

A great salesperson sells in a way that leads to trust and repeat business

  • selling between the sales
  • deliver on promises, make the sponsors look good, document on delivered value
  • pg 166-169
    • penetrate
    • demonstrate
    • evaluate
    • radiate
    • collaborate + elevate
    • dominate
    • inoculate and integrate
    • Create an interdependence
    • Relationships are based on 3 foundations
      • Competence, charisma, and character

Overall the book was insightful, I learned a lot about selling and the amount of strategy that needs to go into it. There are definitely some take-aways that I will be utilizing in the future.

Hope Is Not A Strategy, by Rick Page <<< Buy the book here.


The 4 Disciplines of Execution- Book Summary

The 4 Disciplines of Execution by Chris McChesney, Sean Covey, Jim Huling is about how to set strategic, Wildly important goals and drive the behavior change required to achieve them. It is based on 4 basic principles that over-arch the entire book. To me they make a ton of sense and I can see that this could be extremely powerful to drive change if executed properly. The 4 Disciplines are as follows:

  • Discipline 1: Focus on the wildly important- create a WIG that is focused, must be achieved, and limited to one or two items. Our finest effort can only possibly go to one or two WIGs at a time. They should always be structured in the format of “shift x to y by when”.  There are also several keys to proper implementation of the first discipline:
    • No team focuses on more than TWO WIGS at a time.
    • The battles you choose must win the war- WIGS at lower levels must help achieve WIGS at higher levels.
      • For example, if we have the WIG- to go from $15M to $200M in LED sales by 2020 (X to y by when). The Battle wigs could be:
        • Increase throughput to maximize capital utilization
        • Create design standards for scalability of products
        • Sales force…
        • Maximize current product profitability by ….
      • All of the above battle WIGs support the larger goal of $200M
    • Senior leaders can veto, but not dictate- pg. 36
    • All WIGs must have a finish line in the for of X to Y by when
    • It must be winnable
  • Discipline 2: Act on the lead Measures
    • Leading measures can be counterintuitive/difficult to track. They are not specifically measures of success, but if chosen correctly will be able to drive lagging indicators.
    • examples of leading indicators:
      • PM/PM Checklists
      • 8D’s completed
      • Projects completed
      • Project days
      • Standups attended
      • Cell meetings attended
      • You must create a way to track your lead measures
  • Discipline 3: Keep a compelling scoreboard
    • Everyone knows the score at all times
    • You can tell in 5 seconds if we are winning or losing
    • People play harder when you are keeping score, and it means something. Players scoreboards are always simple. Think of sports, you can easily tell who is winning. The coaches scoreboard is the more complex tracking of stats…etc.
    • The people using the scoreboard need a hand in making it.
    • The people playing must keep score themselves.
    • A compelling scoreboard is laid out like this: page 69
      • WIG -are we winning or losing on our lagging indicator
      • Lead measure 1
      • Lead Measure 2
    • Keys to a compelling scoreboard:
      • Is it simple
      • Can i see it easily- HAS to be visible to the team. Visibility also drives accountability
      • Does it show lead and Lag measures?
      • Can i tell at a glance if i am winning? <5 second rule
      • Example on page 72
    • Play to win vs playing not to lose is the mental shift you get when you create a scoreboard of a winnable game.
      • Gives people job satisfaction when they have an opportunity to experience achievement.
  • Discipline 4: Create a cadence of accountability
    • Until you apply D4, your team isn’t in the game you have set up so far.
    • Cadence should never be less than weekly!!!! sometimes as often as daily (standup)
    • Must happen even if the leader is out for the day/week
    • The whirlwind is not allowed in the WIG session
    • AGENDA:
      • Account: Report on commitments
      • Review the scoreboard: learn from successes and failures
      • Plan: Clear the path and make new commitments
    • Everyone should go to the meeting knowing next week’s commitments. Everyone must be prepared, the person leading the WIG session needs to make sure the commitments are not in the whirlwind and will IMPACT LEAD MEASURES. pg. 84
    • Commitments must be specific: never “work on” or “Focus on” as these are too vague.
    • 3 reasons people disengage from work
      • Anonymity- They feel their leaders do not know or care what they are doing
      • Irrelevance- they don’t understand how their job makes a difference
      • Immeasurement – they cannot measure or assess for themselves the contribution they are making.
    • Employees will start to see how they are moving the needle if they are driving the lead measures and making + keeping commitments.
    • Accountability to their peers that is created in WIG sessions is an even greater motivator of performance for most individuals than accountability to their boss


Section 2 of the book is how to install the disciplines into your team. They are disciplines, or universal and timeless principles. I am not going to outline the entire section since it would be nearly pointless. I made a ton of good notes in the copy I have that I will refer back to in the future. Here is a data dump of the thoughts:

  • D1
    • Make sure the WIG is achievable
    • WIG is the outcome, not the “how”
    • We should write all rocks in WIG format X to Y by when
  • D2
    • Lead measures can be counterintuitive
    • Lead measures can be hard to keep track of
    • Lead measures often look too simple
    • Two types of leading measures:
      • Small outcomes- focus the team on achieving a weekly result- safety compliance score of 97% each week
      • Leveraged behaviors- track the specific behaviors you want the team to perform during the week- ensure 95% of all associates wear safety boots every day
    • You can track individual performance or team performance
    • you can track the lead measure daily or weekly: 5X per week or 1X per day
    • Start with a VERB: Make $2M… Raise our win rate…. Increase inventory turns…
  • D3
    • Visible, Accessible, Continually updated
    • The players are keeping score
    • Simple, examples on pages 157-160
    • Have the team make it theirs: artwork drawn by a teammate….
    • 5 second rule for winning/losing
    • Update at least weekly, it should be very clear, who is responsible for it, then it will be posted, how often it will be updated.
      • Simple
      • Visible
      • Complete- the whole game is shown: Lag/Lead/Lead pg. 165
  • D4
    • Singular purpose: to refocus the team on the WIG despite the daily whirlwind
    • Account: report last week’s commitments
    • Review Scoreboard: learn from successes and failures
    • Plan: clear the path and make new commitments (1-2 commitments per week)
    • This is a bit of a form of PDCA
    • Examples of WIG sessions on pages 176-178
    • High Impact Commitments:
      • One or two
      • most important
      • “I” – make sure they are personal responsibilities
      • “This Week”
      • “performance on the scoreboard”- must be directed at moving the lead and lag measures
    • All Commitments must meet the following standards:
      • Specific
      • Aligned to moving the scoreboard
      • Timely
    • Accountability for unfulfilled commitments: page 184-185
      • Demonstrate respect- everyone on this team understands how hard you worked…
      • Reinforce Accountability- without you we cannot reach our goal
      • Encourage performance- last week’s commitments plus this weeks new commitments
    • Keys to successful WIG sessions
      • On the schedule
      • Sessions are brief -no more than 20-30 minutes
      • Set the standard as the leader- report on your own commitments
      • Post the scoreboard
      • Celebrate the successes
      • Share learning
      • Refuse to let the whirlwind enter
      • Clear the path for eachother
      • Execute in spite of the whirlwind
    • D4 Requires real skill and a degree of precision in making and keeping important commitments

Section 3 was about implementation. There were several case studies that talked about the success. I will touch on a couple of the brief takeaways I thought were good:

  • Design your implementation to fit your culture.
  • Realize its harder to implement the 4 disciplines in an organization that is already successful.
    • You may need to have a “pilot” division that implements it and makes everyone else want to know what the special sauce is.
  • The senior leader must focus on holding all leaders accountable
  • Make sure you have the infrastructure to support your implementation
    • should you hire 4 Disciplines coaches
    • Coaches can help you grow your own internal experts
  • Remember implementing the 4DX will raise the engagement of your team
  • Success breeds success
  • Acknowledge the whirlwind with your team, it will gain you needed credibility
  • Keys for leaders: page 231-234
  • Question to ask: “If every other area of our operation remained at its current level of performance, which area would we want to improve the most?” otherwise you get a never ending debate on safety, throughput, 5S, etc… from everyone who thinks their priority is the best.
  • 3 sources of organizational WIGS
    • Financial WIGS
    • Operational WIGS- most leadership teams focus here initially
    • Customer Satisfaction WIGS
  • From Mission to WIG flow chart on page 239
  • Question: ” what is the fewest number of battles to win the war?”
    • How many battles are there? How many do we need to win?
    • Opryland example page 242
  • what does work: pg 253+
    • 4DX is a process, not an event
    • Must be implemented with intact teams
      • not Finance, Divisions
    • 4DX must be implemented by the leader
  • There is a leader certification
  • 4DX installation process- Pages 255-259
    • Clarify overall WIG
    • Design team WIGs and Lead Measures
    • Leader Certification
      • Scoreboard Design
      • WIG session skills
      • Launch Meeting preparation
    • Team Launch- Leaders schedule meeting that lasts about 2 hours
    • Execution with coaching
    • Quarterly summits- leaders report to their senior leaders on progress and results in the presence of peers- crashes + compliments?
  • If we are really serious about this we should consider getting a 4DX coach/leader certifications.
  • Commonly asked questions- Page 263+
  • 3 most common challenges:
    • performing consistently on lead measures
    • keeping scoreboard current
    • attending WIG sessions
  • Use consistency and a “quick win” to get fast buy-in from the team
  • Reward the team
    • public recognition
    • team celebration- ice cream/pizza/etc.
  • Stay the course- there will always be more good ideas than bandwidth to execute
  • MFG example on pg. 279- project delays due to lack of involvement by team members trapped in the whirlwind
  • There is power in public accountability

Overall I found this to be an extremely powerful and leverage-able book. I feel like if implemented properly a team can drive results effectively. Once again the 4D’s are

  • 1- 2 Wildly important goals- specific, timely measure-able
  • Drive the leading indicators
  • Create a compelling scoreboard
  • Create a cadence of accountability



How to Win Friends and Influence People – Summary

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is a classic. This is the second time I have read the book and took much better notes/takeaways/actionable items. Things that struck me about it this time through were that it is basic psychology. At the end of the day 90% of this books follows the premise that we are proud narcissists that want our egos stroked as often as possible.  This book is split up into 4 parts: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People; Six Ways to Make People Like You;How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking; Be A Leaders: how to Change people without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. I will create the outline of headlines and key takeaways, then some more specific examples of how it can be applied.

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don’t Criticize, Condemn, or Complain
    1. people never think they are the bad guy: if Al Capone doesn’t, nobody will. Everyone makes personal justifications for their actions. People never criticize themselves, no matter how wrong they are.
    2. “criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment”
    3. As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation
    4. “We are not dealing with creatures of logic, we are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with predjudices and motivated by pride and vanity”
    5. “any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain- and most fools do
    6. Read “Father Forgets” starting on page 15 every once in a while
    7. Instead of condemning people, try to understand them
  2. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation
    1. The big secret to dealing with people is making them want to do something
    2. The greatest urge in human existence is the “desire to be important” and craving to be appreciated.
    3. Charles Schwab’s greatest ability: ” to arouse enthusiasm among my people, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement”
    4. Nothing kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors
    5. The power of appreciation – pages 26-27. “there is nothing i need as much as nourishment for my self esteem”
    6. Page 31-Must be honest appreciation, be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”
  3. Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want
    1. bait the hook to suit the fish! pg 32. It is not about what you want!
    2. Talk in terms of what the other person wants
    3. Quote on page 37: “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own.” -Henry Ford
    4. Be able to identify your target’s problems: examples on page 42-43
      1. i can improve your bottom line
      2. make your job easier
      3. solve your problem
    5. People want to feel like they are buying- NOT being SOLD
    6. “self expression is the dominant necessity of human nature” If we have a brilliant idea, instead of forcing it down people’s throats let them chew on it and think it through themselves, then they will regard it as their own, like it, and maybe eat a couple helpings of it.
    7. “first, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”

Six Ways to Make People Like You

  1. Become Genuinely Interested in Other People
    1. Who is the greatest winner of friends the world has ever known? Dogs. They make their living by giving nothing but genuine, emphatic, unconditional love and affection. There is no ulterior motives: he doesn’t want to sell you anything.
    2. By becoming genuinely interested in other people you can make more friends in two months than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you.
    3. “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.
    4. Go out of your way to show interest in other people. And do it to EVERYONE, not just the people you want something from.
    5. Very important for salespeople
    6. Find out birthdates of people- it is the most important date in their life.
    7. If we want to make friends, always greet people with authentic animation and enthusiasm.
    8. Take interested in “health, wealth, and children -see never eat alone summary!
    9. “When we are interested in other people when they are interested in us.”
  2. Smile
    1. Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says “I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.
    2. People rarely succeed in things unless they have fun doing it. You must have a fun time meeting people if you expect them to have a good time meeting you
    3. Smile, eliminate criticism from your system, and give appreciation and praise is the key to being happier, and richer in friendships and happiness.
    4. “action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feelings go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.” Basically you can voluntarily be cheerful, which will lead to being happier
    5. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies.
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most imporant sound in any language
    1.  You have to make the effort, learn the person, the face, facts and details about that person, then focus on their name in your mind. if you get a chance write it down so you have sensed it two ways: hearing, sight
    2. Andrew Carnegie knew the power of names, he named a plant after someone he wanted to buy his steel. guess where they bought! Story about the rabbits on page 78
  4. Be a Good Listener
    1. Listen intently, it is one of the highest complements you can give!!
    2. Listening is not mere silence, it is a form of activity: sit erect, hear with your eyes as well as your ears, show the person you are interested, ask good questions
    3. Ask people about their passions, make them feel important, a successful entrepreneur always wants to talk about the difficult times of their startup
    4. What irritated and irrational people want: Sympathetic listener, friendly and interested person. They want to be heard.
    5. To be interesting, be interested. People you are talking to are a hundred times more interested in themselves and their wants and problems than they are in you and your problems.
  5. Talk in terms of other people’s interests
    1. The royal road to a person’s heart is to talk about the things he or she treasures most- research the people you are going to meet before you meet them. pick out those items they are passionate about and discuss them.- Examples pages 94-96
  6. Make the other person feel important- and do it sincerely
    1. Ask yourself “what about this person can i honestly admire? example on page 99- complimenting someone on their full head of hair
    2. Make the person feel important
    3. Take the “golden rule” to the next level. Not just polite: be interested, go out of your way. do this all of the time, and everywhere. The store clerk, the receptionist, coworkers, everywhere!
    4. Almost everyone considers themselves important- VERY important
    5. Use little phrases like “sorry to trouble you? would you mind? would you be so kind?
    6. Good story about how a man admired an aunt in law’s house and went into a big discussion where she ended up giving him the classic car because he appreciated nice things and everyone else just wanted it. pages 104-106
    7. Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
    1. you can’t win an argument, if you win they will resent you. you damaged his pride, made him feel inferior.
    2. You can extinguish an argument with agreement, then make some points to sway to your thinking
    3. Make sure you keep a disagreement from becoming an argument-
      1. Welcome the disagreement
      2. Distrust your first instinctive impression
      3. Control your temper
      4. Listen first-try to build a bridge of understanding
      5. be hones- apologize for your mistakes- it disarms your opponents
      6. promise to think over your opponent’s ideas and study them carefully
      7. Thank our opponents sincerely for their interest.
      8. Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. NEVER say “your wrong”
    1. Nobody will object to you saying “I may be wrong, let’s examine the facts”
    2. be vulnerable, it can be disarming
    3. Resentment is aroused when doubt is cast upon any of our assumptions leads us to seek every manner of excuse for clinging to it.
    4. Read Ben Franklin’s Autobiography
    5. If we are handled gently and tactfully, we may admit it to others and even take pride in our frankness and broad-mindedness
    6. Never make fixed statements. always say: ‘The way i currently see it’, ‘i imagine’ etc.
    7. Be diplomatic, it will help you gain your point
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
    1. Story about walking his dog without a leash- admitted it to the officer which disarmed him from his authority figure and the only way he could nourish his self esteem was to take the attitude of showing mercy.
    2. Say the derogatory things you know the other person is thinking or wants to say – before they can say them. they will have a more generous, forgiving attitude
    3. Any fool can try to defend his own mistakes, and most fools do. but it raises one above the herd and gives them a feeling of nobility and exultation to admit one’s mistakes.
    4. “By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected”
  4. Begin in a friendly way
    1. Have patience and Candor in disagreements. See the Rockefeller letter on page 144 to see how he made friends out of enemies
    2. People do not want to change their minds, but they may possibly be led to, if we are gentle and friendly!
    3. A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of Gall.
    4. The Friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world.
  5. get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately
    1. Start with “yes” responses. “no” shuts people down. Keep emphasizing the points you agree on.
    2. when you have said “no” it is a difficult handicap to overcome. All your pride of personality demands that you remain consistent with yourself.
    3. The skillful speaker gets, at the outset a number of “YES” responses.
    4. Socratic method on page 157
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
    1. Let the other person do the talking and sell it themselves.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers
    1. Make suggestions- and let the other person think out the conclusion
    2. we like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.
    3. Plant it in their mind casually, and don’t feel the need to take credit
    4. “The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams.”
  8. Try to honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view
    1. Agreeing with people will encourage them to be more open to your ideas
    2. Cooperativeness in a conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person’s ideas and feelings as important as your own.
    3. Have an increased tendency to think in terms of the other person’s point of view
  9. Be sympathetic to the other person’s ideas and desires
    1. The magic phrase: “I don’t blame you one iota for feeling as you do. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do.”
    2. For people that are irate, bigoted, unreasoning- you should feel sorry for them, sympathize with them, say to yourself “there, but for the grace of God, go I”.
    3. People are thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you
    4. When you compose a letter or email, let it stew, you will probably find that you are glad you didn’t send it.
    5. “i sympathize with you, i know it won’t be easy, but it will pay off in _____ and ______.”
    6. Self pity for misfortunes – real or imaginary is a universal practice
  10. Appeal to the Nobler motives
    1. People have a very high regard for themselves, and find themselves to be unselfish in their own estimation. Use this to your advantage.
    2. “a person usually has two reasons for doing a thing: one that sounds good and a real one
      1. appeal to the first one
    3. A lot of good examples in pages 186-190
    4. In general, people are honest and want to discharge their obligations.
  11. Dramatize your ideas
    1. use showmanship! appeal to more than one sense
      1. Tell someone they are throwing away money and throw away real money to illustrate the point
      2. Sight, smell, touch taste, sounds
  12. Throw down a challenge
    1. Charles Schwab- asked how many heats the day shift completed- 6. So he wrote a big 6 on the floor, the night shift saw it and asked what it meant. They erased it and wrote 7 after they beat the day shift’s performance. then it escalated to 10! people are proud and want to feel important. a competition brings that out in people.
    2. If the work is exciting and interesting the worker looked forward to doing it and was motivated to do a good job.

Be A Leaders: how to Change people without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment.

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation
    1. Compliment, then give a fault. It is always easier to listen to unpleasant things after we have heard some praise of our good points. “lather a man before shaving him”
    2. letter on page 207 from Lincoln: Compliments, criticism, then challenges the general
    3. Praise is the novocaine for negative conversations.
  2. call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly
    1. How to criticize and not be hated for it- change “but” to “and” to create an expectation. “we are proud of you, but if you worked harder…” vs. “we are proud of you and by continuing…” has a more positive tone, creates an expectation
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
    1.  You are better than i was at your age, but don’t you think it would be wiser to…
    2. Make it a lesson you have learned and they can apply
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
    1. Give suggestions, not orders. “do you think that would work?” “what do you think of this”
    2. This technique lets people correct orders, save face, and help their pride to give them a feeling of importance. It encourages Cooperation instead of rebellion
    3. People are more likely to accept an order if they had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued. Let people put their stamp on the decision.
    4. Give other people ownership. Ask the right questions
  5. Let the other person save face
    1. “he assured me, in front of my colleagues, that he had faith in me and knew  I had done my best, and that my lack of experience, not my lack of ability was the reason for the failure” – page 226
    2. “i have no right to do or say anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes”
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”
    1. Praise vs. criticism is the basis of B.F. Skinner’s research
    2. You should be specific in your praise details. Don’t just say “your good” say “the attention to detail in X had a great impact on the outcome. I really appreciate all of the effort your put into your work”
    3. use to your fullest extent the magic ability to praise and inspire people with a realization of their latent possibilities
    4. “abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement. to become a more effective leader, apply: Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise”
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to
    1. make sure they know the reputation they are living up to
    2. you have the person’s respect if you show that you respect that person for some kind of ability.
    3. Make it clear what your expectation is of them via prior work/experiences
  8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct
    1. Praise the things done right and minimize the errors
    2. If you say a person is dumb at a certain thing you have destroyed almost every incentive to try to improve- Be liberal with your encouragement, make things seem easy to do.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest
    1. anecdote about how a person was too important for a position – pg 243
    2. pg 245- do not give the person time to be unhappy about a refusal, offer another solution immediately
    3. An employee underperforming a task- give them authority – it will instill importance, purpose. example about the employee who wasn’t putting the proper price tags on products until he gave her the title ” Supervisor of Price Tag Posting”
    4. Guidelines to keep in mind on pages 246-247
      1. be sincere
      2. know what you want the other person to do
      3. Be empathetic
      4. Consider the benefits the other person will receive
      5. Match those benefits to the other person’s wants
      6. put it in terms that will convey that the other person will benefit